The Shift That Moves You Forward (016)

Recently, I wrote about how protecting your energy is essential to keeping your spark alive.

If you missed it, you could catch up here.

How's your week been?

I must admit, the last couple of weeks have been tough. In my corporate role, I lead a team of HR managers, and we wear two hats: strategists and partners to the people leaders. We collaborate closely with them, providing coaching, guidance, and mentorship to face challenges together. Our aim is to keep our workforce engaged and create a safe, motivating work environment for all.

Midweek, I received a text from a colleague I work closely with. My heart expanded. My deep aspiration to live with grace under pressure whether in life and work is starting to bear fruit.

"Mary, I don't have the words for the way you have guided me these last couple of days, plus the response and support. I honestly don't know how you are doing it, as I am sure you are supporting <names removed> and <names removed> too. I hope you are looking after yourself too. Thank you."

Lived Experience

My ability to engage with presence, clarity, and care for my colleagues is not something I learned from a textbook or was naturally gifted with.

It was forged through lived experience - through overcoming significant challenges, including healing from burnout, and navigating health issues after years of living on autopilot. Rest assured, I have fully recovered from the burnout I experienced six years ago, in a different work environment and industry, and is fully behind me. That chapter shaped who I am today, and it fuels the grounded. wholehearted approach I now bring to my work as a HR leader and coach.

It’s also why I’m passionate about sharing the powerful mindset shifts that support sustainable success - starting with one that changed everything for me from “I have to” …to “I get to.”

The shift that moves you forward

The progressive small change in language from “I have to” to “I need to”, then to “I want to” and finally “I get to” helped me reconnect with choices, purpose, and joy even in the face of pressure. It turned obligation into ownership, and responsibility into privilege.

The words are not just semantics. It’s a pattern interrupt. And it opens a door to joy.

Let me show you how this personal example played out.

You see exercise was never my thing. I wasn’t a natural. I used to say, “I have to exercise to stay fit.” Then came a period of health challenges. And in my recovery, something shifted.

🙂 I wanted to care for my body.

🙂 Not just to get back to baseline, but to feel strong again.

🙂 To move with ease. To feel proud of what this body can do.

That small shift it changed everything.

Here is another way to illustrate the impact of the shift in my mindset and language.

Nowadays, I commit to Pilates. I look forward to pickleball and I show up for personal training!!

Same task. New Energy. Better Outcomes.

“Have to” feels like an external demand.

“Need to” is often driven by fear or duty.

“Want to” reconnects you to desire.

“Get to” roots you in gratitude and possibility.

And here’s why it matters. How we talk to ourselves shapes how we show up.

You move from one version - have to - that fuels resentment towards - get to - that fuels joy, even when the work is hard.

🎯 Your challenge this week

What’s one “have to” in your work and life that you can gently reframe towards a “get to”?

Try changing the language this week and notice how it changes you.

Reply to this with the hashtag #BurnBrightChallenge—I’d love to cheer you on!

✨ Closing with Kindness

Thank you for continuing to walk this journey with me. You could lead, achieve, and still feel grounded and whole.

This isn’t wishful thinking — it’s a real possibility when you burn bright, not out.

Until next time - stay bright.

To your spark,

Mary

Burn Bright Coach | HR Leader | Your Guide Through the Messy Middle

P.S. If you know someone who needs this reminder, forward this to them. We’re all figuring it out, one day at a time. 💛

P.P.S. Subscribe | Burn Bright Not Out