Negotiating for What You Want? Why It’s More Than Just a Skill (019)

When we think of negotiation, we often picture boardrooms, legal contracts, or high-stakes deals.

But the truth is: we all negotiate, every day.

📌 From asking for flexibility at work

📌 To setting boundaries with colleagues

📌 To discussing recognition, workload—or even negotiating who’s cooking dinner tonight

These are daily acts of negotiation. And at the heart of them? Good faith.

THE POWER OF GOOD FAITH

After years in HR, I’ve been part of many negotiations, be it in person or online - from individual conversations to complex enterprise agreements. And one truth always stands out:

You don’t have to concede everything.

But you do have to show up with care, clarity, and consistency.

So, what is negotiating in good faith?

It’s not about being agreeable. It’s about being honest. It’s not about giving in. It’s about being open.

To negotiate in good faith means:

✅ Showing up ready to listen, not just speak

✅ Offering honest responses, not polite placeholders

✅ Considering other perspectives, even if you ultimately disagree

✅ Avoiding mind games, withheld information, or empty promises

It’s choosing trust over tactics.

However, I am very aware that even when we want to speak up, it can feel incredibly uncomfortable.

WHY IT IS HARD TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT?

Here's why…

📍 Fear of being seen as “too much”
You worry you’ll come across as demanding, difficult, or ungrateful—so you stay quiet, even when silence costs you.

📍 Unclear on what you actually want
When you’re unsure of your values or priorities, you end up reacting instead of responding. (This is where vision boards help—you anchor to what truly matters.)

📍 Conditioned to avoid conflict
Especially in professional settings, assertiveness can feel like confrontation—even when it’s simply clarity.

📍 Fear of rejection or backlash
“What if they say no?” “What if it affects the relationship?” The “what ifs” can paralyze progress.

📍 Power dynamics
When the power feels uneven, we often silence ourselves before the conversation even begins.

📍 Burnout and low energy
When your tank is empty, advocating for your needs feels like one more emotional drain. So, you push through… until resentment builds.

Sadly, not asking doesn’t protect your peace—it delays your progress.

SIX SUCCESS FACTORS FOR EMPOWERED NEGOTIATION

These are the tools that shift negotiation from stressful to strategic. Let us explore the six success factors.

1. Clarity of Purpose

Know what you want—and why it matters.
Your vision (like a well-crafted vision board) keeps you focused when the conversation gets hard.

2. Confidence in Your Worth

Negotiation isn’t about proving your value.
It’s about expressing it—with grounded self-respect.

3. Specificity in Your Ask

Vague requests = vague outcomes.
Instead of: “I want better balance,”
Try: “I’d like to leave by 5pm twice a week. Here’s how I’ll manage deadlines.”

4. Regulated Emotions

You can feel strongly without reacting strongly.
Regulation allows room for creativity, problem-solving, and trust.

5. Willingness to Collaborate

Negotiation isn’t about winning—it’s about creating something better together.
Good faith builds bridges, not walls.

6. Practice & Preparation

Even the best negotiators rehearse.
Prepare your message, anticipate responses, and visualize staying grounded.

✨REIMAGINE WHAT DOES GOOD FAITH LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?

From my own lived experience, it looks like:

🤝 Asking for help—and offering it in return
🧭 Staying in the conversation—even when it’s hard
🧡 Being honest about your limits—and respectful of others’
🎯 Advocating for your team—without losing sight of the bigger picture

Because in a world that often feels transactional, good faith is transformational.

THIS WEEKEND’S ACTION: ASK YOURSELF

• What’s one upcoming conversation where you could lead with good faith?

• How might you prepare—more grounded, more honest, more open?

CLOSING WITH KINDNESS

You—your spark, your energy, your vision—deserve a workplace and a life that values truth over tactics.

Because how you ask is just as important as what you ask for. And negotiating in good faith? That’s not weakness—it’s powerful leadership.

Thanks for being here. You’re not alone in this journey — and you don’t have to choose between thriving and succeeding. You can do both.

To your spark,

Mary

Burn Bright Coach | HR Leader | Your Guide Through the Messy Middle

P.S. If you know someone who needs this reminder, forward this to them. We’re all figuring it out, one day at a time. 💛