✨When Judgy Mary Ran the Show (and Burnout Was the Price) (024)

My inner critic had a name: Judgy Mary.

She was loud. Relentless. Convinced I was never doing enough. For years, she ran the show while I quietly burned out trying to keep up.

Sound familiar?

Enter: The Chimp Paradox

As an overthinker, Professor Steve Peters’ book gave me language for what was happening inside my head (and what I now see in so many of the leaders I coach):

Your Chimp = your emotional brain. It acts first, thinks later. Five times stronger than your rational mind.

Your Human = your wise, reflective self. The rational mind that you want making decisions.

Your Computer = your habits and beliefs - some empowering, others sabotaging.

Credit to Chimpmanagement.com

Your Chimp isn’t bad. It’s just trying to protect you.
But left unmanaged, it hijacks your day, your decisions, your wellbeing.

My burnout?
That was my Chimp - running scared, chasing perfection, and running on fear-fueled autopilot.

Leadership Lesson: It Starts Inside

Most leadership challenges be it pressure, team tension, or emotional reactivity aren’t just external. They’re internal.

These days, when stress hits, I pause and ask: “Is this my Chimp reacting, or my Human responding?”

That simple awareness has changed everything.

It’s made me calmer.
More intentional in conversations.

And above all, I have become more empathetic. When someone else’s Chimp shows up, I don’t take it personally. I meet the “Chimp” with curiosity.

Taking Back Control

Once, Judgy Mary ran my life.
Now, I run my life.

Burnout can’t be fixed with willpower alone. You have to understand the parts of your mind that are trying to help but end up holding you back because of old habits and deeply rooted beliefs.

And now? I help leaders do the same, become their best selves without burning out.

Because you were never meant to burn out just to matter.
You were made to burn bright.

This Week’s Nudge:

Next time you feel overwhelmed or reactive, ask:

• Is this my Chimp reacting or my Human responding?

• What old belief might be driving this?

• What could I choose instead?

Who's running your show today, your Chimp or your conscious self?

Closing with Kindness

If you're tired of proving your worth by burning the candle at both ends, let’s talk.

Let’s help your Human take centre stage, so your intention shines, your leadership expands, and your spark stays lit.

To your spark,
Mary
Burn Bright Coach
www.maryvazcoaching.com

P.S. Know someone who’s been pushing too hard? Forward this along.

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