- Jun 20, 2025
✨Your Third Space Reset (023)
- Mary Vaz
- 0 comments
Clues You’re Already the Third Space for Others
If you often hear…
“I always feel clearer after we talk.”
“Can I quickly debrief with you?”
…and colleagues linger at your desk or Zoom room before their next challenge; chances are you’re their Third Space.
You ask grounding questions like, “What do you need before you head into X?” and quietly absorb their leftover stress. But if everyone else’s reset happens in your presence, your own energy can drain fast.
If three or more of these clues resonate, you’re providing Third Space. Time to protect your own.
So, What Is the Third Space?
Performance researcher Dr Adam Fraser defines the Third Space as the intentional pause between:
First Space → What just happened
Second Space → What’s about to happen
In that micro-gap you Reflect → Rest → Reset.
Fraser found that using the ritual daily can lift workplace composure and home-life mood by 40 %+.
“It’s not what you do; it’s what you do between what you do that matters.” – Dr Adam Fraser
Photo by Katja Anokhina on Unsplash
(For a deeper dive, check out his book The Third Space: Using Life’s Little Transitions to Find Balance and Happiness.)
Who Needs a Regular Third Space?
Profession
Why It Matters
HR, ER & DEI professionals
Prevents vicarious burnout; preserves empathy
Healthcare & emergency responders
Clears adrenaline; lowers risk of error
Teachers & facilitators
Stops emotional spill-over
Executives & founders
Maintains decision-quality and agility
Remote/hybrid “always-on” workers
Rebuilds boundaries blurred by tech
Working parents & carers
Protects relationships and self-compassion
Photo by mauro mora on Unsplash
A Real-Life Third Space Example
In my corporate HR role, our weekly team dialogue is a collective Third Space—time to check in, debrief, support, and celebrate. When holidays cancel the ritual, we miss it.
These check-ins and the boundaries that come with them stop ultra-resilient teams from quietly over-functioning and burning out.
What’s Not Third Space?
Looks like a break
But it’s actually...
Doomscrolling on Instagram
Mental clutter spiral
Auto-pilot commute
Rumination on wheels
Multitasking (emails + podcast)
Splintered attention
A true Third Space always includes:
✅ Intentional reflection
✅ Physical/mental rest
✅ Forward-looking intention
Why Third Space Matters
We shift roles, tasks, and conversations dozens of times each day. When we carry the mindset from one moment into the next, decision quality, empathy, and relationships erode.
The fix? Just 90 seconds of intentional pause can reset your state - no yoga mat required.
✅ This Weekend’s Action: Your Mini Third Space Reset
Pick one disguised break (maybe your phone scroll). Try this instead:
Reflect – What emotion am I carrying from the last situation?
Rest – Take three deep belly breaths. Unclench your jaw.
Reset – Ask: How do I want to show up next?
Try it just once this weekend.
Notice the difference.
🎁 Want More?
I’m finishing a free Third Space Reset Workbook (ritual guide, 1-week tracker, grounding audio).
Reply “WB” if you’d like first access.
Ready for deeper change? My coaching sessions provide a protected Third Space where you can recalibrate your autopilot and keep low energy from your previous encounter from hijacking what’s coming up next.
✨ Closing with Kindness
Minding the gap between what was and what’s next means you’re showing up for others and for yourself.
To your spark,
Mary
Burn Bright Coach
www.maryvazcoaching.com
P.S. Do you know someone who’s been pushing too hard? Forward this along. Remind them: Just 90 seconds of intentional pause can reset their state